The hardest part of becoming sick for me was accepting all the losses that came as a result of my illness. The loss of my career
The loss of freedom
The loss of self esteem
The loss of regular social outings
The loss of life plans
The change in my relationships
The inability to eat and drink like everybody else does
The list goes on……….
Some of the losses were just perceived losses but it all felt the same to me, real or imagined.
No matter what type of chronic illness you have there would have been some sort of loss. For some the losses may be small, for others the losses are major and can lead to feelings of anger, depression, and withdrawal from people and activities.
So how do you cope with such feelings when these losses aren’t being recognised by those around you, and likely aren’t even being recognised by yourself? Like all grief it takes time and support.
Support from others in a similar situation can ease the burden of loss, allowing not only the ability to vent about the issues without being judged, but recognition that you’re feeling this way and that these feelings are normal and ok.
Keeping a diary can also be helpful, writing down how you feel is similar to talking to others in that it eases the burden.
It takes time but learning to accept the loss is the first step to moving on from it. Once you’ve come to terms with your loss, thinking about what’s positive in your life is important. It might help to just write down 10 positive things in your life, it’s ok if you have to think hard on it, the process will help to clear your mind of negative emotions, put the list somewhere you can see it every day.
Find something positive and enjoyable, something that’s all about you and make time for it on a regular basis. Make it a priority to fit that positive and enjoyable thing into your day.
It’s important to remember that it’s perfectly normal to feel as you do, and that no one is an emotional rock. If how you feel is overwhelming, seek professional help; depression is a common side effect of chronic illness and cant always be managed without help.
In Australia if a GP refers you for counseling, it’s covered by Medicare, leaving only a small gap to pay.
For further information and help with depression:
http://www.beyondblue.org.au/index.aspx?
“And when it rains on your parade, look up rather than down. Without the rain, there would be no rainbow.”
Jerry Chin
Quote courtesy of people stuff
http://www.peoplestuff.com.au/index.php
What’s your rainbow?
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